Pokémon Black and White introduced players into a fifth production of Pokémon, bringing the total amount of pocket monsters to just under a billion. With so many Pokémon accessible, how is a trainer supposed to know which ones are the greatest? Simple: I’m about to tell you which ones are the ideal. So grab a pen and some paper — you’re going to want to take notes.

I am obviously a Pokémon specialist, as evident by my stunning analysis of a number of the new Pokémon in the Black and White. But since I’ve yet to perform Version two, I requested my fellow editor Kyle to give me his picks of the best Generation V Pokémon, so that I might provide my professional evaluation of them for the edification. However, it didn’t take me long to realize his selections are horrible, so after analyzing his pathetic lineup, I’m also providing what are obviously the actual best Gen V Pokémon.

Pignite

Kyle explained Tepig was his rookie Pokémon, so I’m guessing he believes Pignite is amazing because of his own silly, sentimental attachment. There are just two issues with this. First, Oshawott is clearly the best beginning Pokémon from B&W (although Tepig is still better than that snooty jerkbag Snivy). Second, why would he select Pignite and not Emboar? He probably wasn’t good enough to evolve his Pignite into its final shape. Regardless, Pignite remains fairly great.
Official Pokémon Rating (as decided by me): 5

Watchog

I already made fun of Watchog within my previous analysis — especially, I questioned just how good of a lookout Watchog can be when he got captured by a trainer in the first place.At site pokemon black 2 download for android from Our Articles Notably Kyle! Watchog does look amazingly pissed off, however, so he could probably intimidate weenie Pokémon like Deerling.
Official Pokémon Rating: 4.5

Herdier

I’m seriously beginning to wonder Kyle’s Pokémon-choosing skills. Herdier isn’t a Pokémon. He is a Scottish Terrier. Guess what happens in the event you try and make a couple of Scottish Terriers combat each other?
Official Pokémon Rating: N/A
Official Dog Rating: 2

Tirtouga

Tirtouga ends up being better than most of Kyle’s choices, but I must wonder: Why do we need another turtle Pokémon when we’ve already obtained Squirtle? I get that Tirtouga really is a Water/Rock hybrid Pokémon, but it still seems like he’s horning in on Squirtle’s match, also Squirtle is up O.G. — that I certainly wouldn’t mess with him.

Kyle obviously didn’t read my past Pokémon evaluation, since Musharna is just another disturbing choice that I already took to work. This is what I mentioned previously:

«My God, that Pokémon remains a fetus! What type of sicko will generate a fetus struggle?»

Certainly we now have the solution: Kyle is that kind of sicko.
Official Pokémon Rating: 0

Coming Up Next: More poor choices by Kyle…

Solosis

What’s with Kyle’s obsession with Pokémon who haven’t had a opportunity to fully form yet? I think it’s clear what’s going on here: Kyle is not very good at Pokémon, so he chooses the smallest monsters he could see in order to get a justification when he or she wins. In that sense, Solosis is a superb choice.

Yamask? Much like Yakiddingme? This Pokémon’s whole character is built across its mask, which it just holds with its tail. What do Yamasks actually do with their masks? According to the Pokédex,»Sometimes they look at it and cry.» That does not sound helpful at all! Yamasks are much worse than their evolved form, Cofagrigus, which we all know is only a sarcophagus with massive arms and legs.
Official Pokémon Rating: Dumb

Minccino

I’ve zero trouble with this choice.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10

Deino

Apparently, Deino thinks he’s a member of The Beatles. I never thought I’d sort this sentence, but this dragon should receive a haircut. However, a mop-top dragon is still technically a dragon, so he has that going for him. Additionally, Deino is a Dark/Dragon hybridvehicle, which is better compared to a Rainbow/Dragon hybridvehicle, or Candycorn/Dragon hybrid, or anything other stupid Pokémon types there are. However, Deino can evolve to Hydreigon, at which point his front legs become two heads. That’s way cooler than Deino, Kyle.

Hey, what do you understand? Kyle finally picked a cool Pokémon! Granted, a blindfolded monkey could’ve chosen better Pokémon than my fellow editor did, but this selection (almost) makes up for this. Beartic is classified as a Freezing Pokémon, who’s actually made from icehockey, and his level one ability is named Superpower. That’s correct, Beartic starts with Superpower.

More than anything else, I am simply impressed that Kyle did not select Beartic’s unevolved kind, Cubchoo (that the snot-dripping teddy on the best ).

Now that we have suffered through Kyle’s horrendous selections, let’s look at what are really the best Pokémon of Black and White Version 2, as picked by an expert…

The Real Greatest Pokémon:

Samurott

I wasn’t kidding when I said Oshawott was the obvious choice for a starting Pokémon, also Samurott is the main reason . He’s got a badass horny shell on his head, the mustache and beard of a wizened master, and as his name suggests, he is part samurai. Oshawott’s goofy seashell (which kind of looks like a wang for me) even evolves into awesome Shell Armor, also judging from Samurott’s pecs, this Pokémon is now torn. Want further proof? Samurott’s species is listed as Formidable Pokémon. ‘nuff said.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10

Simisage

Simisage is a Thorn Monkey species of Pokémon, and judging from his film, he definitely knows how to stone. He has got an Elvis-like coif, a barbed tail that he strikes his opponents with, and big, humorous monkey ears. He also has an ability called gluttony — like Kevin Spacey in Seven. Simisage is so cool he’s giving himself that the thumbs-up, which can be well deserved.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10 And Also A Thumbs-Up

Gurdurr

I am pretty certain Gurdurr is your strongest Pokémon in all Pokéworld. Additionally, it’s holding a sneak beam over its head! Look at all its bulging muscles — Gurdurr is so powerful it is sort of gross. If you need more proof, the Pokédex clarifies Gurdurr as follows:

«This Pokémon is really muscular and firmly built that even a group of wrestlers couldn’t make it budge an inch.»

Let’s find out your Musharna stand around that, Kyle.

I didn’t even know Pokémon wear clothing, but Throh is wearing a gi, and he is a black belt to boot. Much like Gurdurr, Throh is additionally a straight-up Fighting-type Pokémon, and also his species is Judo Pokémon. Throhs are so strong they don’t even evolve — that is right, not evolution can improve them.

Like I said, I’ve zero problem with this pick. Minccino is adorable!

Coming Up : Five Amazing Pokémon…

Darmanitan

Here is another heavy hitter that Kyle completely passed up. Darmanitan is categorized as a Blazing Pokémon, that explains why its eyebrows are on fire. Like a fire ape isn’t terrifying enough, here’s Darmanitan’s Pokédex description:

«Its internal fire burns at 2,500º F, which makes enough power it can ruin a dump truck with one punch.»

2,500º F would be the melting point of metal. Steel. Not the Terminator could resist molten steel! Now that’s a Pokémon!

Should you ever ran into a Galvantula, you could just dismiss it like a semi-creepy pest infestation. It could be the last mistake you ever make; when you turned round, it would take electrical webs out of its fangs to jolt you into submission. Then it would eat you. Do not believe me that Nintendo would approve such a menacing Pokémon? To the Pokédex entrance:

«They use an electrically charged web to trap their prey. While it is trapped by shock, then they leisurely consume it»

Notice, Galvantula does not just consume its own foes — it leisurely absorbs them, like it’s no matter. Even a Xenomorph would shudder and run away from among these things.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10

Golurk

Let’s be honest: Golurk is basically The Iron Giant, by that 1 picture whose name I can’t recall. It might not be all that original, but that doesn’t make Golurk any less badass. Golurk is categorized as an Automaton Pokémon — even for people who don’t know,»Automaton» is Latin for»Giant robot that kills everything in its course.» Its Pokédex entry makes it seem even cooler:

«It blows across the sky at Mach speeds. Removing the seal onto its torso makes its inner energy go out of hands »

Which of Kyle’s Pokémon Would like to go up against this?
Official Pokémon Rating: Supersonic Robot Bomb

Genesect

This robot bug may not look as frightening as some of the other Pokémon with this list, but he has quite the backstory. Genesect is a Paleozoic Pokémon which has been originally alive 300 million years back, when it was»worried as the strongest of hunters,» in accordance with the Pokédex. Then it had been resurrected by Team Plasma, which made it much stronger by adding a cannon to the back. Quick side note: should you ever opt to employ science to revive an ancient being dreaded because of its unparalleled searching skills, do not give it a cannon.

Predictably, Genesect broke out of the lab and hasn’t been seen again. To make matters worse, its cannon can be outfitted with four unique drives, endowing it with all the powers of four elemental types of regular Pokémon.

Nobody knows the story behind Genesect’s title; lovers believe it means»genesis bug» or»genetic insect» I have my own theory: In Japanesethis frightful monster is actually called Genosect — I’m guessing the real significance of its title is»genocide insect»
Official Pokémon Rating: Genocide Bug

Thundurus

There’s not much to mention, other than that Thundurus ain’t screwing around. Thundurus is a mythical Pokémon, and can be classified as a Bolt Strike Pokémon. All his skills sound amazing: Uproar, Astonish, Thundershock, Terrible Plot. . .Okay, I really don’t understand about that last one, however others are pretty cool.